ringemup:

So this happened three days ago.

I’m minding my own business, doing my cashier thing, when I feel this tap on my shoulder. Thinking it was a coworker, I turned to find a middle-aged lady staring at me intently.

“You are so gorgeous” she said. “You’re so adorable, do you know that?”

“Thank you,” I said, then attempted to go back to my cashiering. She wasn’t done with me though.

“You’re just the cutest thing in here!”

Now, yes, my twists were still fresh and I’m relatively pretty – on my best days. But that day, in my work clothes, I was not feeling in anyway pretty, so this broad was freaking me out

“Would you like to come home with me?”

I shit you not, that is exactly what she said, and if you think that was it, you thought wrong.

“Do you have a mommy?”

Now, I don’t know what the new lesbian dating trend is, but it hit me that she might have been a “Late-in-life” looking for a young chick to love on.  It felt like “mommy” might have been a new slang term, or something I wasn’t trying to be a part of.

So I told her that, yes, I do have a mommy, but she hits me with “I always wanted a girl, but all I had were boys.”

I should point out that she was a white lady and I’m a twenty-one-year-old black girl. I should also point out that earlier that day I had seen my first couple with a possibly adopted black baby (they were white – or just not-black), so I had a bit of a “white people sure like to adopt black kids” moment. And while it did lessen the uncomfortableness of being hit on by an old chick, it did not make the situation less weird.

Eventually, she realized she had something to do and left, but not before  asking me to come live with her and then telling me I was adorable. I spent the next thirty minutes wondering if I should have filed a complaint  or chalk it up to another day in the life.

I ended up deciding to write a blog about it, so I shouldn’t have been surprised when she walked by, with what looked like her husband, and pointed at me while mouthing, “I want you”.

I have never been so freaked out in my life. I didn’t know middle-aged ladies could be so creepy.

This ish really happened.

Originally written on ringemup.tumblr.com